It’s unfortunate this blog has no readers, because today’s entry includes a fantastic low-budget way to elevate one’s quality of life to a Brangelina-type status. Yup, you’re just a couple paragraphs away from being King (or Queen) of the World. Literally.
While world governments are distracted by commodity shortages and nuclear proliferation, there is a complete regulatory void for becoming a ‘Capital of the World.’ No treaties exist, nor have any international commissions been organized to manage these hallowed titles. To become a COTW, one need only thump your chest, raise an arm in the air and pronounce in a deep baritone voice… I proclaim [town name] to be the [noun/verb/whatever] Capital of the World. It’s really that easy!
So who’s getting in on the action? Hidalgo Texas is the Killer Bee Capital of the World. Avon Ohio is the Duct Tape COTW. Claxton Georgia is the Fruitcake COTW (presumably the edible type of fruitcake). Elkhart Indiana claims to be the RV COTW. Towns like Caldwell KS dive into obscurity, becoming the Ornate Box Turtle COTW. And some towns take the low road, like Beaver Ok proclaiming themselves the Cow Chip Throwing COTW.
So let it be known, on this afternoon of July 14th in an Atlanta Caribou Coffee shop, Hendricks Minnesota was proudly proclaimed to be the ‘Toy Box Capital of the World.’ So I’ll admit, this may be a bit presumptuous to claim the TBCOTW title without having made a toy box. Consider this a bit akin to cyber-squatting, staking a claim to to be earned another day.
But any COTW title comes with a bit of a peril… other towns can encroach on your claim to fame. Consider the ‘Walleye Capital of the World’, a claim made by 10 towns from Wisconsin to Idaho. So let it hereby be known, the definitive source (a Google search) showed NOONE claiming this title. We’ve homesteaded this bad boy!
(Legal Disclaimer: The ‘Toy Box Capital of the World’ proclamation has been made without the consent of the Hendricks MN city council. Great news can distract and cause incontinence issues for council member Scott Pearson.)
No Comments »
General Motors is headquartered in Detroit’s flashy Renaissance Center. Google has the GooglePlex. The Chicago chewing gum makers have the statuesque Wrigley Building. And the Gulbranson Toy Box Company will be headquartered in a 100 year old meat locker. And of the four, I’d take the old meat locker any day. Less maintenance… of course!
Actually, a meat locker may be the perfect place to set up shop. You see, a meat locker was quite an undesirable place for those with hooves and webbed feet. Pigs, cows and chickens were escorted in the back door and passed through the front door - piece by piece in frozen chunks to those those upper-level predators. And with this building’s unique history comes a fantastic opportunity for redemption.
I’m a sucker for hoping bad situations can be turned around for the better. And in the back of my mind, it seemed fitting this former meat locker become a place where farm animals could frolic and play - a 360 from the earlier days. But the animals would have no malice towards the building. You wouldn’t be seeing a cow smashing windows or a horse tripping the circuit breakers. And what I’m envisioning is these animals would be real. Well sort of. They’ll be an accumulation of puppets, cartoon likenesses and life-size mascots that will occasionally appear in person. And some will be featured on the themed toy boxes.
But this wouldn’t totally be about redemption. You see, some of my favorite memories were formed back on my grandparent’s farms. Unfortunately, the grandparents on my father’s side moved to town prior to my 1970 arrival. So my ‘back on the farm’ memories are mostly from my grandparent Harriet and Isaac Sandro’s farm. I don’t care if it takes me a month, year or a decade - I’d like the interior of this building to one day be a cartoon representation of the Sandro farm located 4 miles straight west of Hendricks. And the spirit of kids frolicking in the grove, reminiscent of any kids, would be these farm animals.
But my grandparent’s won’t be inhabiting this fantasy land. It’ll now be the home of Gulby Gulbranson. Gulby will have his woodshop behind a grove of trees - a ‘building within a building’ located in the rear of the building. I’m not yet sure what will be located in the front of the building.
Well, dream sequences aren’t always easy to describe. So you’ll have to stop by in a couple years and see the progress. Stay tuned!
A side note about the building:
The meat locker is one of Hendricks Minnesota’s oldest buildings, just barely edged out by a storage shed one block west and one block south. The building was purchased in March 2008 with funds tucked away from the Corporate America days. The building is still PACKED with the former owner’s possessions. Actually, I’m not being fully honest with you. It’s full of crap. Even the most refined would use the word ‘crap.’
The previous owner is known around town as ‘Hardhat’ Van Erdwyk. Hardhat’s headware of choice is, you guessed it, a bright orange hard hat. He’s one of the cartoon-like characters that inhabit the little Norwegian-American hamlet. That’ll be a story for another day. As you’ll someday see, the building is FULL of Hardhat’s stuff. Umm, I mean crap.
No Comments »
OK, I’ll admit it. The word ‘etymology’ is one of two big words which I’m familiar. And I’ll never forgo an opportunity to use one of my two ‘big words’ - hence this posting’s title. And for you word sleuths out there, I’ve carefully embedded the other ‘big word’ in this posting. I betcha can’t find it!
A while back, I conducted extensive research and concluded most businesses have a name. It later dawned on me the toy box company would also need a name. And trust me, you wouldn’t believe how many names there are out there. Why, there almost seems to be an infinite number of names. Well silly me, that can’t be true. Anyways, I did find a name. And without further adieu, here’s the etymology of the name ‘Gulbranson Toy Box Company’.
Believe it or not, the ‘Toy Box Company’ part of the name came fairly easy. But the first 1/4th of this moniker quartet had a more interesting story. I was always keen on a 3 syllable name. Most of the exclusive brand names have 3 syllables. There’s Cadillac, Versace, Godiva, Citizen (blue jeans for the uninitiated), Mercedes, BMW and the list goes on and on. Since I’m not a fan of elitism, I ideally wanted a 3 syllable brand name for a product that was inclusive - not exclusive.
At an early time, I thought surnames were the way to go. But I’ve always thought naming a company after oneself to be vain. Besides, my last name Nelson didn’t cut it. And my other family names of Johnson, Sandro and Hanson weren’t much better. So I auditioned all sorts of last names… the surnames of friends, family, presidents, dictators, preachers, teachers, cartoon characters, adult film stars and everyone in between. There’s a lot of decent names out there but nothing stuck.
So one day back in 2003 my father casually mentions our ancestral surname had changed just about a few generations ago. So I thought, how could this have not come up in conversation? Well, the Nelson side of the family has a hard time tracing their genealogy back past the 1940s. As I remember it, dad wasn’t sure what his great grandfather’s surname had been prior to Nelson. But he would soon be lunching with a relative which would likely know. A coffee and doughnut later, dad returned home with a napkin with the name ‘Gulbranson’ scribbled in distinctive handwriting.
Now most good things in life don’t come delivered on a disposable tissue. But this might be an exception. Yes, it was interesting to know my original family name. But there it was, sprawled out in all its three-syllable glory. And look at that big, fat old letter G… just beckoning to be written in a cartoon font for a memorable logo. No, this name was not chosen because of its familial significance. It was chosen because its a cool name. The familial connection was a bonus.
This is the penultimate paragraph (remember the first paragraph). The cartoon character’s first name ‘Gulby’ arrived during the summer of 2008. For unknown reasons, I was carrying around a demo pet toy box one day like Carrie Bradshaw would tote a clutch purse. I stopped and talked to Lori Olson of ‘Main Street Floral’ fame, which happens to be located on Main Street. Lori asked me about my pet toy box, which I guess any reasonable person might do. She noted the cartoon characters affixed to the outside of the box. Lori mentioned the characters needed names. It took her a second to suggest the main character should be named Gulby Gulbranson. So in the confines of Lori’s floral shop, Gulby Gulbranson was conceived, birthed and brought to life. And talk about being eco-friendly, this name etymology didn’t involve a napkin!
One occasionally hears the phrase ‘here’s one of the archives.’ I guess this pertains to the the napkin containing the ‘Gulbranson’ scribble. I once put it in a special place so it wouldn’t be lost. I’m not quite sure where that place is. But once I find it, it’ll be the first artifact first deposited in the company archives - a big TupperWare tub on an upper shelf in my closet!
No Comments »
Hello world… it’s time to make toy boxes! Welcome to my idea some seven years in the making… creating ‘The Gulbranson Toy Box Company’ and making exceptional toy boxes for exceptional children.
I guess now’s a good time for introductions. This is your blogger-in-chief Jay Nelson. I’m a Minnesota transplant occupying my own little place down here in Atlanta. The ‘toy box idea’ started seven years ago. Having started a job in corporate America, I mentioned I enjoy woodworking when introducing myself to coworkers. Well, they weren’t getting the whole story. I failed to mention was I’m a terrible woodworker that has never finished a woodworking project. Oh I’ve started many a project. You name it — picture frames, cutting boards, shelves and step stools — I’ve started them all. I guess my fascination could better be described as enjoying taking big pieces of wood, cutting them and making them smaller. Now that’s entertainment!
It didn’t take long for me to strongly dislike Corporate America. I was often on the verge of resigning, but kept carrot-and-sticking myself to suck it up and tuck money away start my own thing. And all the while, I never quite forgot these three requests to make toy boxes. Given time, making toy boxes grew to be my escape route from the corporate scene.
I purchased the website address ToyBoxes.com for $7500 back in 2002. I once came close to landing a toy box manufacturing contract for a California marketing firm. So I quickly purchased a table saw, band saw and drill press and have them shipped to my friend Tommy’s place back in my home town of Hendricks, MN. But the contract didn’t pan out. It would be 2 short years before I retrieved the equipment and moved them to my father’s garage.
I spent the proceeding couple years talking about making toy boxes. I’d often joke to friends about my imaginary toy box company. We never had layoffs, the workers never had a sick day and everyone went happily home to hug their kids every night! I was a pretty good imaginary manager, if I do say so myself. Making toy boxes was never a top priority, but I’ve slowly been preparing for the day when it would be top priority. I guess that day is June 24th, 2008.
Over the years, my motivation to make toy boxes has drastically changed. The passion to escape Corporate America slowly yielded to more self-fulfilling goals which I’ll mention in subsequent postings. There’s a lot of things I want to accomplish in life, and creating toy boxes is a illogical but perfect means to this end. I’m a rampant idealist, to a fault some say. I want to leave my mark on the world before it’s all said and done. And I’m banking on ‘The Gulbranson Toy Box Company’ to be my means to this end.
And yes, I’m gonna have a whole lotta fun along the way.
No Comments »
